nebo ze života
Já se od tohoto distancuiji :
Válečný soud zachází s člověkem jako s obrázkem:
je čas – pověsí ho, není čas – postaví ho ke zdi.
Toto je fakt ( naozaj) drsné, hlavně ta něvera. Můj partyzán jen to viděl .....No a proto je nutné bojovat proti koránu !
Subject: Suicide Bombers to go on strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with al-Qaida have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when al-Qaida announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently resides, al-Qaida chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but al-Qaida is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.
Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.
jsem nadšen! Logistické systémy al-Kajdy selhávají! Nepolíbené panny začínají být nedostatkovým zbožím! Muslimsko-atentátnické odbory se komercializovaly a kvůli kdejakému prdu vstupují do stávky! No prostě paráda!
British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) je fakt skvělá a poslední odstavec a skotské zpěvačce a jejím vlivu na pokles atentátů je prostě užasný (doporučuju zhlédnout jak dotyčná vypadá a přiznám se že do ráje s něčím takovým bych fakt nechtěl).
Jen v AJ, omlouvám se... Kritika TV seriálu zvaného "Druhá světová válka" a celého History Channelu - zjevně netuší, jak napsat uvěřitelný scénář...
As I mentioned in my last entry, I've been watching Babylon 5 lately. It's not a perfect show, but it has one big advantage: it's consistent and believable.
Contrast this with Doctor Who. Doctor Who is fun to watch, but if you think about it for more than two seconds you notice it's full of plot holes and contradictions. Things that cause time travel paradoxes that threaten to destroy the universe one episode go without a hitch the next. And the TARDIS, the sonic screwdriver, and the Doctor's biology gain completely different powers no one's ever alluded to depending on the situation. The aliens are hysterically unlikely, often without motives or believable science, the characters will do any old insane thing when it makes the plot slightly more interesting, and everything has either a self-destruct button or an easily findable secret weakness that it takes no efforts to defend against.
But I guess I'm not complaining. If the show was believable, the Doctor would have gotten killed the first time he decided to take on a massive superadvanced alien invasion force by walking right up to them openly with no weapons and no plan. And then they would have had to cancel the show, and then I would lose my chance to look at the pretty actress who plays Amy Pond.
So Doctor Who is not a complete loss. But then there are some shows that go completely beyond the pale of enjoyability, until they become nothing more than overwritten collections of tropes impossible to watch without groaning.
I think the worst offender here is the History Channel and all their programs on the so-called "World War II".
Let's start with the bad guys. Battalions of stormtroopers dressed in all black, check. Secret police, check. Determination to brutally kill everyone who doesn't look like them, check. Leader with a tiny villain mustache and a tendency to go into apopleptic rage when he doesn't get his way, check. All this from a country that was ordinary, believable, and dare I say it sometimes even sympathetic in previous seasons.
I wouldn't even mind the lack of originality if they weren't so heavy-handed about it. Apparently we're supposed to believe that in the middle of the war the Germans attacked their allies the Russians, starting an unwinnable conflict on two fronts, just to show how sneaky and untrustworthy they could be? And that they diverted all their resources to use in making ever bigger and scarier death camps, even in the middle of a huge war? Real people just aren't that evil. And that's not even counting the part where as soon as the plot requires it, they instantly forget about all the racism nonsense and become best buddies with the definitely non-Aryan Japanese.
Not that the good guys are much better. Their leader, Churchill, appeared in a grand total of one episode before, where he was a bumbling general who suffered an embarrassing defeat to the Ottomans of all people in the Battle of Gallipoli. Now, all of a sudden, he's not only Prime Minister, he's not only a brilliant military commander, he's not only the greatest orator of the twentieth century who can convince the British to keep going against all odds, he's also a natural wit who is able to pull out hilarious one-liners practically on demand. I know he's supposed to be the hero, but it's not realistic unless you keep the guy at least vaguely human.
So it's pretty standard "shining amazing good guys who can do no wrong" versus "evil legions of darkness bent on torture and genocide" stuff, totally ignoring the nuances and realities of politics. The actual strategy of the war is barely any better. Just to give one example, in the Battle of the Bulge, a vastly larger force of Germans surround a small Allied battalion and demand they surrender or be killed. The Allied general sends back a single-word reply: "Nuts!". The Germans attack, and, miraculously, the tiny Allied force holds them off long enough for reinforcements to arrive and turn the tide of battle. Whoever wrote this episode obviously had never been within a thousand miles of an actual military.
Probably the worst part was the ending. The British/German story arc gets boring, so they tie it up quickly, have the villain kill himself (on Walpurgisnacht of all days, not exactly subtle) and then totally switch gears to a battle between the Americans and the Japanese in the Pacific. Pretty much the same dichotomy - the Japanese kill, torture, perform medical experiments on prisoners, and frickin' play football with the heads of murdered children, and the Americans are led by a kindly old man in a wheelchair.
Anyway, they spend the whole season building up how the Japanese home islands are a fortress, and the Japanese will never surrender, and there's no way to take the Japanese home islands because they're invincible...and then they realize they totally can't have the Americans take the Japanese home islands so they have no way to wrap up the season.
So they invent a completely implausible superweapon that they've never mentioned until now. Apparently the Americans got some scientists together to invent it, only we never heard anything about it because it was "classified". In two years, the scientists manage to invent a weapon a thousand times more powerful than anything anyone's ever seen before - drawing from, of course, ancient mystical texts. Then they use the superweapon, blow up several Japanese cities easily, and the Japanese surrender. Convenient, isn't it?
...and then, in the entire rest of the show, over five or six different big wars, they never use the superweapon again. Seriously. They have this whole thing about a war in Vietnam that lasts decades and kills tens of thousands of people, and they never wonder if maybe they should consider using the frickin' unstoppable mystical superweapon that they won the last war with. At this point, you're starting to wonder if any of the show's writers have even watched the episodes the other writers made.
I'm not even going to get into the whole subplot about breaking a secret code (cleverly named "Enigma", because the writers couldn't spend more than two seconds thinking up a name for an enigmatic code), the giant superintelligent computer called Colossus (despite this being years before the transistor was even invented), the Soviet strongman whose name means "Man of Steel" in Russian (seriously, between calling the strongman "Man of Steel" and the Frenchman "de Gaulle", whoever came up with the names for this thing ought to be shot).
So yeah. Stay away from the History Channel. Unlike most of the other networks, they don't even try to make their stuff believable.
A ještě jednou z podobného soudku, tentokrát kritika na román nazvaný "Válka o Falklandské ostrovy"
Review of the alternate history: The Falklands War
The bandwagon of AH rolls on. We have seen the books on WW2, and the Korean War. Another author is attempting to cash in, this time in a near-present period.
This, however, is definitely an inferior product, clearly rushed out to cash in on the current popularity of AH. This is obvious from the sloppy proofreading. The author seems unable to decide whether she is referring to the Falklands War, or the Falklands Conflict. I will use the title, the Falklands Conflict, as that appears to be the formal name.
The book is best described as a modern Boy's Own Paper Heroic Action Adventure wet dream brought into the modern day. Plausibility goes out of the window, with logistics, politics, economics and common sense all being disposed of in short order. The author may as well have called the book "The Empire Strikes Back", and be done with it.
The background of the yarn is roughly as follows. A long dispute over the fate of a bunch of god-forsaken islands in the south Atlantic started to get interesting when the British Foreign Office decided that it was prepared to discuss handing the islands over, as the days of Empire were over. The Ministry of Defence chipped in by announcing that it was making a cost saving by planning to scrap HMS Endurance, Britain's only long-term permanent naval presence in the area, an obsolete and effectively defenceless survey ship.
Not surprisingly, the Argentine Government assumed Britain had no real desire to keep the islands, which were a financial burden to the British taxpayer. So, the Argentine forces invaded, with thousands of troops with all sorts of heavy equipment assaulting in a carefully planned attack on a handful (approx 30) of Royal Marines. Despite the odds, and despite the huge expenditure of ammunition, the Royal Marines hold out for about a day (outnumbered 100-1). Despite THIS, there is not a single casualty among the Marines. The Marines are returned to Britain - it appears that the Argentines haven't heard of the concept of prisoners of war.
Meanwhile, in an even more god-forsaken corner of the south Atlantic, Argentine forces attack South Georgia. The British defenders, using a single anti-tank gun, knock out a corvette, a second ship, a helicopter, and generally prove just how bloody difficult amphibious assaults are. Remember this point. The Marines surrender, and there is not a single British casualty.
Lesson 1. Huge amounts of ammunition being expended in close-quarter combat in confined spaces does not harm British troops.
The political consequences in the UK are immense. The Minister in charge of the Foreign Office, Lord Carrington (A Lord as Cabinet Minister? In 1982? Puhlease!) resigns because his department had blundered, and he took responsibility. A resignation from one of Thatcher's Ministers, on a principle of honour?
However, rather than accepting a fait accompli, an outburst of jingoism sweeps the country, even affecting such notables as Michael Foot, leader of the Labour Party and CND member, who seems to regard this as a re-run of the Munich Crisis. The retaking of the Falklands is given top priority, regardless of cost. Right. The Thatcher Government, which was prepared to sacrifice industries wholesale and see unemployment rise to Great Depression levels, all in the name of keeping the tax burden down, is ready to sign a blank cheque to retake some rocks located, well, the average tax payer didn't know where they were.
Within days, a Task Force is formed and sent out in a blaze of publicity. Of course, no-one suggests taking a few extra days to make sure that the right people and the right equipment are on the right ships. Seemingly, the plan is to get everyone down south as quickly as possible, dump them somewhere on the islands, and let them get on with it.
A tiresome interlude
Trundle goes the Task Force. Just to make life interesting (and presumably to get a few sales in Australia), the single most important vessel in the Task Force has actually been flogged off to the Aussies. However, the Aussies raise no objection to Britain sending their kit into the middle of a war.
The British suddenly notice that supplying an army at the end of a supply line over 8000 miles long might be a bit of a problem. So a bunch of civilian merchant ships (is this a tip of the hat towards Dunkirk?) are called on to help out. This includes such high-profile vessels as the QE2 and Canberra. It also includes a Ro-Ro ferry - we assume that its captain is under strict instructions not to open the bow doors.
There is one notable absence from the Task Force. Britannia, which was always said to be used as a floating hospital in time of war, is nowhere to be seen. One can only assume that the Queen didn't want her nice floating hotel damaged. Still, she did allow Randy Andy to go down, presumably hoping to lose him. Keep Britannia, lose Andy, sounds like a good deal to me. Nonetheless, the author manages to get a Very Senior Royal Family Member involved in the war. Is the author aware that this is supposed to be the late 20th century, not the age of Monarchs?
Then there is an immensely long passage section. At least the author remembers that 8000 miles is a long way.
Getting to the good stuff
The Task Force arrives. It enters an area where air superiority is in doubt, and it is going to be badly outnumbered in the air. So what happens? The Task Force is split up, with some ships (with zero air cover) are sent to retake South Georgia. Despite being outnumbered, the Marines retake South Georgia, and the only casualty on either side occurs after the fighting is over. Mental note - in a war in 1982, it might be worth arming troops with Brown Besses, for all the good guns seem to be.
Back to the Falklands. Despite the long passage south, the British suddenly wake up to the fact that they are going to have to get troops from ship to ground, and some planning might be a Good Thing. By pure chance, they discover that one of the staff actually wrote a book on the Falklands, covering sailing and had detailed knowledge of the coastline. The book had never been published, but he had kept the manuscript. (This person is clearly written from the author's personal experience in being an unpublished author. Never a good sign!)
Now the British start planning. D-Day was two years in preparation, but without American help, the plucky British can do this one in two days.
Things now start to get seriously silly.
Is there no end to the implausibility?
First of all, there is aerial combat, in which the much outnumbered and amazingly slow Harrier outperforms fighters with proven combat experience. I guess the author is a fan of slow planes like the stringbags.
The author realises that the readership wants blood on the ground, so the ships go in to land Red and Green Berets. Yes, that's right. In this day of super-tough helmets that actually do protect somewhat, the British ground troops wear berets. Into combat. I presume the author is making a point about the location of brains in Marines and Paras.
Now, the Argentineans have been given five shots of a SuperWeapon, an air-launched Exocet from the Super Etendard. We get to see first use. Is it against a carrier? Do they go after the Black Pig or the Great White Whale? No, it gets used against Sheffield, a destroyer, commanded by the implausibly named Sam Salt. The ship is sunk, but despite the lack of warning (seemingly, British ships have this slight technical embarrassment that using a satellite to talk stops radar from working effectively), casualties are light.
Almost immediately afterwards, the WW2 era General Belgrano is sunk by a nuclear-powered submarine. The submarine uses an obsolete torpedo (which it just happened to have) which could do the job, rather than the ultra- modern torpedoes which didn't have enough power to do the job.
Now, at this point, the author would have us believe that there is much hand-wringing in Britain over whether the Belgrano was at point X or point Y, and what direction it was steaming in, when Thatcher could have just upped and said: "We are at war, so we sunk an enemy warship." In the appendix, it appears that, come the inquiry, the submarine had managed to lose not one, but two logs for the relevant period. Right.
The stage is set for the landings. The British are outnumbered 3-1, the Argentineans have air superiority. The British have a logistics train 8000 miles long. The Argentine forces have had a couple of months to prepare defences. Naturally, the landings proceed with the British easily victorious.
Having landed, what do the British do? Advance and get away from a confined killing ground as quickly as possible? No, they wait to let the ships unload. 8000 miles may not be a problem, but the 800 yards from ship to shore appears to be a major problem.
We then learn that the Argentinean air force has apparently never tested its bombs, because the bombs have a habit of not exploding.
At last, the British get moving. Presumably because the Marines and Paras are scared that if they don't, Sandy Woodward will personally and single-handedly capture Stanley by a solo paradrop.
Yomping, yomping, yomping...
The British are on the far west of the island, Stanley is on the far east, so obviously, the first push is due south. Never give a Para a compass. It's got a moving part.
The attack on Goose Green gets bogged down, the CO leads from the front, gets shot, (and is later awarded a posthumus VC). The No 2 takes over, changes battle plan in mid-battle, and wins the day in short order. (Isn't this cliché a bit old?) The CO is called a hero.
British troops now walk across mountainous peat bogs in the depths of winter. The author is now showing utter contempt for logistics. There is negligible helicopter support, and the only significant means of getting stuff forward is to carry it.
Just to add to British logistic woes, another use of SuperWeapon wipes out the Chinook helicopter support.
Then the author engages in a touch of whimsy. An obsolete Vulcan is launched from Britain, flies 8000 miles, drops its bombs and returns, in the longest bombing raid ever, with logistic support and complications like you wouldn't believe. The bombs miss, of course. Have I mentioned that the author doesn't like logistics?
Then the author gives the Green and Red Berets reinforcements. The author obviously has a thing for berets, however. The Scots Guards, after the cake walk it has been so far, have a damned tough fight on Tumbledown. The Welsh Guards suffer heavy casualties on disembarking. As for the Gurkhas, well, clearly the author couldn't do anything nasty to them, so has the Gurkhas, the finest light infantry in the world, and used to operating in these sorts of conditions, and fresh and spoiling for a fight, these are used - to guard prisoners.
The British reach the outskirts of Stanley. Is there a climactic last battle? No. The author is close to deadline, and has to wrap things up, so the Argentinean forces, still outnumbering the British, surrender. The author hits deadline, and another trashy novel is released onto an unsuspecting market.
Jeden chlapík při procházce Prahou spatří pitbula útočícího na malé děvčátko. Nelení, vytáhne pistoli a dobře mířenou ranou nebezpečného psa skolí. Děvčátko je zachráněno.
Kolem zachránce se hned vyrojí reportéři:
"Jak se jmenujete, pane? Celá Praha vás bude milovat a zítřejší titulek v novinách bude Hrdina zachránil malou holčičku před krutým psem!"
Chlap se ohradí: "Ale já nejsem z Prahy."
Reportér: " To je v pořádku, pane, celá republika vás bude milovat a zítřejší titulek v novinách bude Hrdina zachránil děvenku před bojovým psem!"
Chlápek řekne: "Já ale vůbec nejsem Evropan."
Reportér znejistí: "Tak odkud tedy jste?"
Muž odpoví: "Z Izraele."
Reportér se zachmuří: "Aha..."
Druhý den byl na hlavní stránce titulek "Odporný Izraelec zločině zavraždil malé holčičce hodného pejska!"
zde to je jen a jen legrace či sranda, není nutno odborné komentovat, jen se zasmát .
A je po legraci i po srandě, jsou to Britové, ale je to stejně pěkné.
jednak jsou to britové, druhak se nevyloďují, ale je to natočeno na řece a je to nahraná scénka někdy z doby asi rok po invazi. Uniformy a přilby jsou celkem jasné, původně je to delší.
jj v reálu by kameraman byl dost těžko před vyloďovanými vojáky a oni by se něšklebili jak jojo
Ono to už proběhlo několikrát a i na válce se to rozebíralo, šlo o nějaké video "na památku" co si točili britští vojáci.
Dnes mě při pohledu ven napadl starý vtip z doby před plyšákem:
Jak se dělají červánky?
To se vyvedou komunisti na kopec a tam se rozstřílejí na mraky.
No s tím kouřením, tam si nejsem jistej, záleží kdo komu kouří, pokud řidička spolujezdci, tak to by mohlo být za jízdy fakt dost adrenalinové
Ale H@vinky jsou v tomhle fakt objevné
A pan Radim se už asi začíná vzdalovat praxi a teorie to může být mrcha